


Late Night Musings

by Yuukos



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Drabble— sort of, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Roman’s POV, Spoilers, can be interpreted as a reader insert, solomon spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 09:18:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17464748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuukos/pseuds/Yuukos
Summary: There are times where he’d wish that time would stop for a moment.





	Late Night Musings

There are times where he’d wish that time would stop for a moment.  
  
He knows that time is precious, that saving humanity comes first. But something deep inside him, tells him to be _selfish—_ To be able to be greedy, to indulge in the moments of being with her.  
  
He knows that it is wrong, _wrong_ , _wrong,_ in so many levels to hold for feelings for humanity’s last master.  
  
To let a single person, a _young one at that_ to carry all the burdens of humanity— to command such unpredictable heroic spirits and send them off to different singularities, where god knows what dangers would happen to her.  
  
Countless of times he’d always ask himself if it’s alright to see the one he loves get hurt all over again, and again, and again for the _greater good._

  
  
There are times where he’d ask himself if wishing to be human was a blessing or a _curse._  
  
Where at one point he’s thankful that he met a person like her, so young, so _passionate_ , so full of life and hope. So thankful, so grateful to be able to meet a person like her. _No one,_  not even all those women he had from his previous life could compare to her.  
  
But the timing was wrong, _all wrong_ — why would they have to meet at a place like this? Inside the last facility that prevents humanity from being totally incinerated? Why would a person like her had to be the one who would save humanity? Why does she have to be the one to get hurt all over?  
  
At times he’d wish that he would always be right by her side, hell he’d wish that taking her place might be better than seeing her get hurt all over.

  
Is this God’s punishment for him for his disobedience and asking for a chance to be human?

_Such a cruel, cruel god._

 

* * *

  
  
He lays wide awake beside her in the middle of the night, thinking, regretting, _wishing_ that he would tell her that all of this was for nothing.

That _he_ _knows_ , he feels that his time as a human has already been numbered. That there are other people out there _lies_ that are more deserving of her love, time and affection.

That in fact, he is the real Solomon, that the only sure way to defeat the one masquerading as him has to be—

  
  
_No._ That is too painful to think about.

  
  
He turns around to see your sleeping face, void of tiredness and weariness he would often see when you’re awake. A brush of the tip of his fingertips to your cheek, trailing all the way to your lips. You let out a small involuntary shudder.  
  
“Just once, just once, please let me be selfish, _my beloved_.” He whispers before leaning down to give your lips a light kiss.

  
  
Maybe in another lifetime they would all live peacefully, with no demon pillars to kill, no holy grails to collect, and no singularities to repair. Where he’d live a happy domesticated life with you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hewwo this is a product of me taking a break from my thesis around 4 am while listening to sad karaoke songs. My writing’s pretty rusty since the last fic I did was 6??? YEARS AGO LMAO while i was still a high school student. 
> 
> Anyway, apologies (or not) for the oocness?? I mean, this is how I interpreted Romani’s pessimistic personality while playing FGONA. I’m also so so so, salty with how Solomon ended. I read the spoilers years ago but actually playing it still made me bawl like a child, I’m not over it. I’m still thirsty for Romaguda content, and silently hoping he would come back at the end of the Lostbelt.
> 
> I honestly also find it odd and sad that Roman never truly felt or enjoyed being human after granting his wish by the grail. After seeing the last glimpse of humanity’s future he worked tirelessly for ten years in Chaldea to prevent that from happening. Just what the fuck, please let him be happy!!!!
> 
> Feel free to scream abt romaguda with me y’all. This pairing hurts me so much—  
> Tumblr is yuu-koo, where I first posted this _(┐「ε:)_


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